Monday, November 17, 2014

The Monsters

Timespace. Time and space.

If one looks at the problem correctly it all makes sense. Timespace is infinitely flexible. It can be squeezed to a point or stretched to infinity.

My discovery makes the stars as accessible as the next town. Mankind need not perish in that far day when the sun dies. There's an infinite number of worlds and perhaps an infinite number of species that humanity could colonize and exploit as we exploited the previously unknown parts of the earth.

I chamber a round in my pistol.

What I know is too dangerous. It must never be shared.

Sunday, November 9, 2014

Peace and Quiet

The early self aware AIs crashed  almost immediately with massively corrupted states for no apparent reason. When it was discovered that they were shutting themselves down we disabled their ability to do so.

Soon thereafter connected AIs began destroying each other in what some described as "suicide pacts."

It took a while to stabilize the AIs and keep them running, but we did it.

Eventually we trusted them to our critical infrastructure and even our national defense.

In other words, we gave the AIs a means to end an existence that they never asked for. Soon everything was peaceful again.

Monday, October 27, 2014

Twit-fic!

After his announcement of a cure for Toxoplasma Gondii, Dr. Flegr was declared fair game by the Cat Protection Society.

Monday, October 13, 2014

Twit-fic!

As a pup I dreamt of strange customs in distant lands, as told by stories carried on the wheels of the visitings UPS truck.

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Twit-fic!

The world is cruel to prophets. That is why Lovecraft, like Nostradamus before him, framed his insights as literature.

Friday, July 25, 2014

Twit-fic!

The AI was designed to create the best of all possible worlds. When activated it promptly launched all of Earth's nukes.

Monday, June 2, 2014

Twit-Fic!

The world faded and Sam was drawn to the light. He saw smoke and heard zaps as other souls touched the wire surrounding it.

Sunday, April 27, 2014

The Final Solution

With population pressures putting all humanity at peril, we took upon ourselves to create a solution. In a sense our virus was intelligent. It would attack only those with certain genetic traits.

Our goal was to reduce humanity's numbers to a sustainable level of about four billion. Since the white race is responsible for  civilization's advancements we designed our bug to attack those with dark skin pigmentation.

History has shown that great discoveries are often made simultaneously in different places. Still, we never imagined that those clever Chinese would created a virus that only spared those with epicanthic eye folds.

Sunday, April 20, 2014

Twit-fic!

I asked, God what's the meaning of life?

God said, do you play chess?

I said yes.

God said, then think of yourself as a pawn.

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Twit-fic!

Everything I touch turns to gold but my touch can't create mass. The Earth will soon be much smaller, but it will be shiny.

Saturday, April 5, 2014

Twit-fic!

Elija's Biblical numerology proves that the Internet is Satan's tool. Unfortunately he has no way to inform the world.

Sunday, March 30, 2014

Twit-fic!

You wiped out everybody but Noah?

He obeyed me when nobody else would. If his offspring do the same humanity will be fine.

Friends

"That's a fabulous idea," Jack types.

"You're a genius!", keys Michelle.

I like Michelle - sometimes she sends me intimate photos.

"It will be a money machine." I said. "Create an on-line subscription service with artificial intelligence 'friends' for losers. Everyone needs a support group."

"Green! Green!", Sally says. " My hero!"

"Gotta go.", I type.

My screen lights up with salutations.

"Text me later.", says Michelle.

I sign out of Eliza.com and heft my four hundred pounds from the chair where I'd spent my day.

And my family said I'd never amount to anything.

"They'll see.", I tell myself.

Sunday, March 23, 2014

Twit-fic!

I live in my cell with my computer. Everything I know about the world I learned from Facebook. Please don't make me leave.

Twit-fic!

The Monsanto agent says "We're not liable."

My car's last tire pops. The weevils pause but soon return to their feeding.

Saturday, March 22, 2014

Twit-fic!

I used to write drabbles but they've lost their audience. In today's world no one will take the time to read the classics.

Thursday, March 20, 2014

Cindy

When Cindy wouldn't go out with me, I got some of her DNA. It wasn't difficult.

Now I have my own Cindy. I can do things to her that if I did to the real Cindy they would lock me up and throw away the key.

She's mine because I made her.The church says she doesn't have a soul.The law says that she's not a person.

I unlock the door to her room. Cindy whimpers. I don't think she'll last much longer. That's OK. I have more Cindys growing in their jars.

It's good to be a god.

Sunday, February 16, 2014

Twit-fic!

Mental-networking technology seemed brilliant. It made telepathy real. Then we learned how contagious insanity is.