Sunday, April 27, 2014

The Final Solution

With population pressures putting all humanity at peril, we took upon ourselves to create a solution. In a sense our virus was intelligent. It would attack only those with certain genetic traits.

Our goal was to reduce humanity's numbers to a sustainable level of about four billion. Since the white race is responsible for  civilization's advancements we designed our bug to attack those with dark skin pigmentation.

History has shown that great discoveries are often made simultaneously in different places. Still, we never imagined that those clever Chinese would created a virus that only spared those with epicanthic eye folds.

Sunday, April 20, 2014


I asked, God what's the meaning of life?

God said, do you play chess?

I said yes.

God said, then think of yourself as a pawn.

Wednesday, April 9, 2014


Everything I touch turns to gold but my touch can't create mass. The Earth will soon be much smaller, but it will be shiny.

Saturday, April 5, 2014


Elija's Biblical numerology proves that the Internet is Satan's tool. Unfortunately he has no way to inform the world.