Friday, May 22, 2015


It was unsafe after dark while Johnny Depp developed his character for Dracula. Method acting does that to some people.

Monday, May 18, 2015

Black Friday

After robots replaced most workers the Congress wrote ever more severe laws punishing the "lazy" unemployed for not having jobs.

Eventually being poor, which they reasoned demonstrated anti-social attitudes, was made a felony. To reduce the increased costs of operating new prisons, repeat offenders were deemed incorrigible. The robot executioners stayed busy.

Getting rid of the poor people solved many problems. The world returned to environmental sustainability. Of course those who unwisely over invested in prisons and fossil fuels became poor and were put down.

It was a black Friday when the stock market tanked, taking humanity with it.

Saturday, May 16, 2015

Fermi's Paradox

Scientists have long wondered why our universe is not full of interstellar civilizations. We listen and all we hear is silence.

To obtain star flight all civilizations must follow the same path, that path leading to understanding the very currents of space and time itself.

There are only two ways that sentient beings can react to such knowledge.

We have had visionaries. Lovecraft's writings described deeper truths than his contemporaries knew. Now that the realities he spoke of are understood, Fermi's paradox has been solved at last.

Those of us with enough sanity left to do so will die now.

Thursday, May 14, 2015


I wouldn't eat Soylent Green. It's nasty stuff. The meat has way too many hormones and preservatives in it to be healthy.

Facebook Friends

In all her years on Earth, and yes she has seen many of them, Val never experienced anything as wonderful or convenient as the internet.

Facebook is her favorite. She has cultivated many Facebook friends and she shares with them many pictures of her beautiful home. Val's Facebook friends all know that she lives alone.

Sometimes she places a diamond necklace or other valuables, seemingly carelessly, for the camera's eye.

The beauty of it is that the food always comes at night, and no questions are ever asked.

Technology is wonderful, Val muses, but sometimes she still misses the hunt.

Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Chicken Dinosaurs

After geneticists at Monsanto discovered how to revert chicken beaks to dinosaur jaws it was not that much more difficult to complete the reversion process. The scientists viewed it as interesting research. The marketing department had other ideas.

"Every kid is going to want one." cried Harry Seems. "Chicken dinosaurs will be the next big thing. Lets face it, our company has developed a bad reputation. This could turn things around for us in the public eye. What could possibly go wrong?"

Monsanto soon developed a joint publicity campaign, with Disney promoting chicken dinosaurs alongside the new Jurassic Park movie.


It was news when geneticists reverted chicken beaks to dinosaur jaws. Continued research made it into emergency news.

Monday, May 11, 2015


The first working bullshit detector was outlawed as a threat to the public good. Of course we all knew that was bullshit.

Friday, May 8, 2015


The aliens said that humanity is too violent to join the Federation. Of course we couldn't let an insult like that stand.

Thursday, May 7, 2015

Google Ads

Google ads are amazing.

This girl I met one night told me that she started seeing ads for maternal clothes before she even realized that she was pregnant. It turns out that pregnant women look at common health care products and Google extrapolated. Sometimes it seems like these new technologies know us better than we know ourselves.

But when she called me that's not all she told me. She also said that the child is mine.

Now ads for shovels, duct tape, rope, plastic sheeting and knives are popping up everywhere when I browse the internet.

Google ads are amazing.